What makes investing into a relationship worth my while
The more good experiences we have together and the better these experiences are, the more interested I'll be in continuing the relationship and vice versa. For this to be the case, both people in the relationship need to have a positive affective presence more often than not. Some people I have nothing but positive experiences with and other people I have nothing but negative experiences with. What I've found is that if there's not preferential treatment (being treated better than others would be in the same context) then there's poor treatment. There are more situations than I can be bothered to list where favoritism comes into play (e.g. having a spare movie ticket and choosing who to come with you), I mean humans are quite tribal, you're either in the in-group or you're not. So the point is that I don't like being made to feel less than like I should be treated as if I'm special
The more a person meets what expectations I have, the more satisfied I'll be with the relationship and the less I'll question if it's worth investing into.
As an example, if I expect to hear that I'm cared about, loved, and appreciated, then I can feel disappointed and check out of the relationship if I don't expect to ever hear this. And just as bad treatment is provided for free so is good treatment, it's not based on what's deserved or what's “worked for”. Generally better treatment comes down to attitudes and feelings a person has
The more of a positive impact a person has on the lives of others as well as their own life, the more appreciated, trusted, and well-regarded they will be by me, which makes me want to keep them around and vice versa
The more difficult a person is, the less I can be bothered getting past their artificial barriers. The point is if someone is interested in something I'm interested in, whether it's meeting up, video calling, whatever, there should be no barriers to this. I don't want to waste time on people that aren't meeting me where I want them to. And to be clear, it's not like I rush the stages too
The less problems we have with how each other lives, the less relationship-ending disputes there will be
The more useful a person is, the more interested I'll be in keeping them around. Two heads should be better than one
Kory